I can guarantee that sooner or later you will be in a position where you want to tell someone, “no thank you”. So, what type of situations might you be in and what are some diplomatic ways to say no?

First, most time spent in lifestyle situations is social, meaning theses situations do not involve any intimacy. From this standpoint, as long as you are enjoying the other person or couples' company, then there is no problem. If, on the other hand, you would like to end your conversation and talk to other people, then you need to politely excuse yourself and move around the room.

Now for the more difficult situations. You’ve been having a nice conversation with a couple and they ask you if you would be interested in getting together. You’re thinking to yourself, that they are very nice, but I am not interested in anything more than conversation. So now you are in a position to say no thank you. Here are some things to consider in the way you respond:

• Be sensitive to the other peoples feelings. Believe it or not, people do get their feelings hurt and sometimes this cannot be helped. After all, you are telling them that for whatever reason, you are not attracted to them.
• Be as honest as possible while still being tactful.
• Don’t put your spouse in the position of being the bad guy. I have seen situations where the wife says, 'my husband makes all the decisions,' and then the couple asks the husband and he says his wife makes the decisions.
• If you need to discuss the situation with your spouse, simply say, 'let me talk it over with (my spouse) and we will let you know.'

Sooner or later everyone will experience rejection of one sort or another. It may be for very different reasons but the bottom line is that you can not be mad at the couple for not wanting to be intimate with you. Simply move on to the next couple. If you are in a situation that you need to say no, here are some responses:

• Thank you, but we are going to pass.
• We appreciate your offer, but I think it would be better if we were just friends.
• You both are very nice and we enjoy your company, but the physical attraction isn’t there for us.
• You're all really nice people, but we really don’t play all that much (only say this if it is true).

There are obviously a million excuses you could give. Be careful not to make an excuse for the moment only to be put in the exact situation at another time.

The next topic I want to touch on is how to say no to that unwanted advance. Here, the situation is a little different. A male or female, for that matter, has made an unwanted advance and while you are trying to be polite, the situation is progressing and you need a way out quickly. In these situations, you can often be concerned about your safety and well being. Remember, just because you are in a club or at a party, that does not give anyone the right to assume that they can do what ever they want. In these situations, put a stop to the activity quickly. Explain to the individual that you are not interested and you would appreciate it if they would stop that immediately.

Sometimes, the direct approach just doesn’t work. Now what do you do. Well, you have many options. One is to say you are going to get your spouse, friend, etc. or the manager of the facility to get the person to stop and go away. This will usually do it. Most people are not over-bearing, but in some situations, there has been a little too much alcohol involved and the individual is not thinking clearly.

Stay calm and walk away, do not antagonize the other person into an ugly altercation. No one likes to be rejected. How you say 'no' to someone is very important. Be sensitive and honest.