Off-premise clubs and socials are a good bet for your first swinging experiences. Most swingers new to the lifestyle have at least some unrealistic expectations and fears and are afraid to attend most functions, even a social dance. The absolute only way to find out the truth is to go to a social or off-premise club. These gatherings are very low pressure and you can relax and enjoy yourself. No one is going to pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. You will hear many times that the number one rule of swinging is No always means No. But an off-premise party is a much different atmosphere from an on-premise club or party. If you are new, take it slowly. Check out the off-premise clubs and socials first.

Here's how it works.

Most parties or socials are held in hotel ballrooms, banquet rooms, or meeting rooms. Sometimes a bar or lounge will close to its regular crowd one night a week for a swingers group. Sometimes snacks are provided and often a buffet is included. Most require a “donation” at the door to help cover expenses if a room is rented or for set ups. Music is usually provided for dancing by a DJ. Sometimes games are played to break the ice and get people to meet each other. Often birthdays and anniversaries are celebrated too.

Because of the liquor laws, most socials or clubs will provide set ups, (i.e. cokes, club sodas, juice) but no alcohol. Check to see if the club or social you are attending is BYOB. Often hotels are restricted to offering a cash bar if you rent a room from them. If this is the case, don't bring in your own alcohol. This will create problems for the people who have gone to the trouble to set up a party where you can meet like-minded people. Please respect the rules that they have you sign before entering the premises.

Many clubs and social groups require that you attend an orientation. This is a great place to meet the people that run the group and ask questions. This is also an opportunity to meet other newcomers like yourself who are just as nervous as you are. If there is a couple that you would like to meet and you just don't know how to approach them, ask the people who run the group; they usually know everyone and would enjoy introducing you to the other couple. Most clubs/socials are for couples only, but some allow a minimum number of single men in on certain nights. If you are a single man, remember, you should never approach anyone; you MUST wait for a couple to approach you.

If the party or social is at a hotel, you can probably get a room if you identify yourself as being with the group giving the party and receive a special rate. If this is the case, get a room; even if you don't plan on spending the night. It gives you a place to change into your sexy clothing (that way you don't have to wave goodbye to the kids and babysitter with a full length fur on in the middle of July), it gives you a place to go if you just want to talk quietly with your partner or another couple, it keeps you from having to drive if you just happen to drink too much, and lastly, it gives you a great place to go should the chemistry be just right with that particular couple or couples.

If this is the first time you actually get together with another couple, it is also important for some people (women especially) to see everyone at breakfast the next morning. As one woman put it. “I woke up and felt so awful but when I saw all the other women downstairs eating breakfast like normal people, laughing and talking, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, it made me feel better. I think if we hadn't stayed for breakfast that first morning, I might not still be in the lifestyle.”

You can dance, drink, and socialize at an off-premise club. A little flashing may be tolerated, but sex is not allowed. You have to go home or to a hotel room for sex. That usually includes oral sex. Before you go to a club or social make sure you know the rules. Go to the club or social web site or email the owner/organizer for rules. Rules and regulations are set in place to protect the group, its owners/organizers, and you from unwanted confrontations with the police and possible lawsuits. Club owners are very knowledgeable regarding local laws and law enforcement. Don't take a chance. Abide by the rules. Know before you go.