From a woman's perspective

Most women grow up believing that sex between two women is not acceptable. Indeed, it is something that never even enters the minds of most women. Some women have fantasies of being with another woman, but would never act out or admit to such dreams. So the first time a woman is turned on by another woman can be an eye opening experience.

The first time a woman kissed me, it set me back light years. I was terrified by the thought of a woman being able to make me feel that ache in my groin, that inability to breathe, and that desire for more. I stayed far away from women in my effort to conform to society's norm. This is called homophobia. It didn't work.

Several years later, at a house party, a beautiful young woman began performing oral sex on me. It was so pleasurable that I closed my eyes and when she announced loudly that I was about to climax, I remember thinking “How the hell does she know I'm about to…..” and at that instance, I had a most incredible orgasm. Thank you, Nicole. It is true that woman know what women want and need.

The scenario above is fairly common. In the lifestyle, a woman's first introduction to bisexuality often occurs when she opens her eyes and discovers the man that she thought was giving her oral sex has relinquished the position to a woman. Another common way women enter the bisexuality scene is with a threesome at the request of their husbands.

The knowledge that anyone, whether male or female, can give you an orgasm is frightening to many people. Women are more analytical than men are and so accepting this fact is easier for them. It helps that men in the lifestyle encourage bisexuality between women.

Up until this point, I had received, but not reciprocated sexually. This is called “shy bi.” I had not had my mouth anywhere near another female's sex organs. Not every woman turns you on. In the same manner, not every man is a suitable sexual partner. But when I saw the woman on the dance floor that made my heart stop, I stared in shock. She stared back and smiled. She sat down, I went over, and the rest is history as they say. Although I do not recommend this technique, there is quite a bit of privacy under a table that has a low hanging tablecloth; and this is where I first initiated oral sex on another woman. I didn't really know what to do but being a woman, I simply did to her what I like having done to me. And, well, it worked. Giving that woman pleasure was one of the most joyful experiences of my life. We are still friends and see each other as often as is possible. (She lives four states away.) The thought that perhaps I was becoming a lesbian crossed my mind. But I know that ultimately I need a good hard penis (or two).

Being with women makes me look at women in a totally different light. I appreciate and celebrate all women and their differences, regardless of whether or not a woman makes me feel erotic. I think bisexual women have a better understanding of men as well as their female counterparts. I find men are very appreciative towards a woman who truly enjoys giving pleasure to other women.

Some bi curious women I have spoken with fear that they will do something wrong (or not do something right), or hurt the woman they so very much wish to pleasure. The answer to this problem is so simple: ASK! Talk to her. GO SLOWLY. Try some dialogue like: Does this feel good to you? Do you like strap-ons? Do you like having a finger inside of you? Do you want me to lick you? Suck? Nibble? Are your breasts sensitive? What feels good to you? Show me how you masturbate. Do you ever use a vibrator? Is your anus off limits? The only other advice I would offer is to lose the fingernails. No one wants two-inch long fingernails inside of her. It is not sanitary and it can cut and hurt. Wearing vinyl gloves gives a different feeling and helps protect against sharp fingernails. Using lube can help make the gloved experience silky smooth.

If you have a good time both giving and receiving, then it is safe to say that you are bisexual. Giving women pleasure can bring you great joy and that is really what being a bisexual female is all about.